Yes, that’s water you’re seeing through that windscreen. Himself was lucky enough to get a Landrover experience voucher for his birthday, and what you’re seeing in the photo is what he saw while driving. We booked it for early July, left the already parched grounds of our garden behind and went out to stay with friends in Gloucestershire for a long weekend.
The experience was based at Eastnor Castle. No, we didn’t get to see the castle – we were directed to a glass-walled showroom in the grounds, and taken out from there to where the Landrovers were parked. From there, he was settled into the driving seat of a new Discovery and away we went.
Just making this clear – I was in the back seat throughout. The driving experience was bought for him, with a follow-on session for the friend we were staying with. You get a different view from the back seat – the brake foot hasn’t got a pedal to land on, and you get the chance to take photos.
It was a good long ramble through the woods behind Eastnor Castle. We’ve both ridden off-road trials and trails on motorcycles many years ago, and we’re used to the principle of lining up on a muddy steep hill and giving the throttle some exercise to keep up the traction, standing up on the footpegs and letting the bike catch grip under you. If you’re sitting down, you can’t help but try to nudge the bike onto the line – if you’re standing up, the bike (usually) corrects itself and stays upright. That’s the theory. He was always better at it than I was.
Modern off-road super-cars are different. He was going to punch through the mud at about 15 miles an hour, until the instructor stopped him. Slow and gentle. Press the button on the dash for mud and snow… or press the button for downhill… you’ll excuse me, but press the right button doesn’t equal real off-road driving to me.
All the same, it was fun, sploshing through puddles up to a foot deep through a shaded forest. The instructor was great, always calm, and he encouraged both drivers to try The Peanut. This is a small concrete patch (accessed via a set of stairs) with a concrete hill in the centre and steep banking around it. Imagine sitting in a car with the right front and rear wheels jacked up by three or four feet, and you’ll get the idea of how steeply we were banked.
That was Friday’s treat. Saturday’s treat was a couple of seats in the audience at Ledbury’s Poetry Festival, listening to Brian Bilston read his poetry. If you don’t know Brian Bilston’s work, try it. He’s brilliant at the deadpan play on words and meanings with an occasional vicious kick at political stupidity. It was a good long hour of daft and smart poetry, and we went out cheered up.
Sometimes, a weekend away is as good as an expensive week’s holiday.
Julia Chalkley 